Starting fresh is good for everyone and life does it’s thing in cycles, doesn’t it? Coming and going.
I go by Frankie offline, but here I tend to go by Kousagi. I enjoy art and I sometimes blog about life as an artist in a constant battle with time, motivation, and recovery from depression. This is far from my first blog—those who have followed since about 2011 have seen many versions of Kousagi.net. As with every year, I tend to dip back in and try to start again. It’s therapeutic to clean the clutter accumulated from years before. I don’t see much need (yet) to delete everything and start from scratch, but I like to take my choice pieces from before and move on from there.
This time, however, there’s so much more that I want to do with a blog. Before this, I kind of shoved my blog into a very specific purpose. Art only, or at least, an attempt at art only. Tumblr lends itself to reblogs and memes. I feel like, finally, I want to just blog. Not just post my art, but I want to write about my art, my life, the way my life surrounds my art and visa versa. I want to share tutorials and things I’ve learned, my progress. I want to look back on this blog a year from now and feel like I got something neat done.
I enjoy blogs and journaling and always have, so why not let myself have fun with it?
The purpose of this blog is to journal life and the struggle for productivity and motivation. My experience in the last ten years of wrestling with these beasts is that self-care and keeping your HP topped off helps a ton. Positivity & Art vloggers have been a hugely positive influence for me in the last few years—I’d like to take a leaf out of those books.
I encourage comments and thoughts on posts and works, feedback is always appreciated. If you’ve got questions you’d like to see me elaborate or write on, by all means, don’t be shy! I’m always happy to share thoughts on any particular matter. This blog is meant to be a place of growth for my art, writing, and life. Opinion posts are an open forum for all thoughts, even those that disagree. May discussion always remain civil amongst comment threads, however!
A few years back, I decided that I was truly recovering from about a decade of depression and anxiety. There were other issues in life that made it difficult to get on with hobbies and careers normally. Things I’d rather not delve into at this moment. The heart of that matter is that there came a point where I reflected on myself and decided I was in recovery. I was drawing again after a long hiatus (one of many, cued by emotional unwellness.) I was getting out and doing things in life and challenging myself in ways I had previously given up on. Art and writing were coming back to me after living in a very long, bleak period. I wrote in my sketchbook that I was an artist in recovery.
Recovery is an uphill battle with a ton of slips and falls. This realization came almost two years ago and my productivity has still been quite sporadic. Offline and art aside, changes were happening in my life. I was getting through rough relationships and meeting new, very different people. I was coming out of my comfort zone and being hurt and healed in the process. It’s all been leading to this point in my life (and it’s still transitioning) where I’ve moved to an entirely new city and living alone for the first time in my life.
Creativity and art are steadily coming back into my life and it’s largely due to self-care.
As an artist or content creator, self-care starts with forgiving yourself for not immediately falling into that “churn out one new masterpiece a day” work ethic. This is followed by evaluating yourself and deciding whether or not you’ve been neglecting you. Physically, mentally, in general.
I’ll elaborate on this in another post for sure, but this is generally the idea that I want to play with in this blog.
I’m still working out the logic, the kinks, and the happenings of it all over the last few years myself… but I guess I’m inviting anyone who wants to read to glean what they can from my notes.
So, this is the new Kousagi.net, and I’m an artist in recovery.